Cinerama Cup: Group A

    

Now that we've waded our way through the covers, Valentina, etc. we can begin on the competition proper...

In the group stage, this is how the point-scoring works:

• The panel must award a total of 36 points
• No song may receive more than 12 points
• At least one point must be given to 5 songs (i.e. no more than three zeros) 

Group A

• Tie Me Up
• Groovejet (If This Ain't Love)
• Cat Girl Tights
• Gigolo
• Edinburgh
• 7X
• Pacific
• Mr Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

The Results

We had a very clear winner in 'Cat Girl Tights', which finished 60 points ahead of its nearest rival. 'One of my favourite Gedge songs from any era,' was Harry's view, 'an absolute masterpiece of a song.' Dave concurred ('a dark, moody fantastic piece of music'), as did Marc ('classic quiet LOUD quiet LOUD which is the hallmark of any great TWP track'). It was not with its critics, however. 'Does nothing for me,' commented Bob; Chris described it as 'drivel.'

At the other end of the table, 'Mr Kiss Kiss Bang Bang' and '7X' were a long way off the pace. Johnny enjoyed the 'jolly, jaunty' qualities of the former; Bob thought that it 'bounces along nicely.' Gav M also liked it: 'Bit of an earworm and I found myself whistling it pottering about the house.' Others were less impressed. Gav F was particularly disparaging: 'A love of James Bond is clearly responsible for Gedge’s worst recorded output... this song is s**t and xylophones have no place in music made by people above primary school age.' Harry was of a similar mind: 'Don't let the door bang bang your arse on the way out.' As for '7X', Keg praised its 'groovy chorus,' but Ian was reminded of Rupert the Bear and gave it a zero. Dave thought it 'an easily forgotten ditty.' 

I expect the most divisive tracks in the competition are likely to be those that are the most 'Cinerama-ish', i.e. the ones most distant from the traditional TWP sound. 'Pacific' certainly fits that bill, and attracted both 10/12s as well as six zeros. Gav F was firmly in the latter camp ('flutey nonsense... bland material like this is a key reason why so many TWP fans lost interest in Cinerama') whereas our other Gav enjoyed its 'lazy, sultry feel.'

'Groovejet (If This Ain't Love)' did surprisingly well for a cover, and was only five points away from qualifying. Just ahead of it, 'Gigolo' was described by Keg as 'a sturdy b-side' with a 'bouncy chorus.' Johnny thought 'the unanswered phone in the middle eight' was a 'heart-breaking slice of genius.' It was, however, dismissed by Bob ('absolute filler') and Dave ('a middling affair').

'Tie Me Up' divided opinion almost as much as 'Pacific'. This time, the main bone of contention was the lyric, which Gav F found 'cringe inducing', a sentiment echoed by several others. Some were prepared to forgive them: 'The tune is so good that I'm willing to overlook the "50 Shades Of Grey" lyrics' (Harry); 'it is a bit cringe when he sings about blowing his beans, but its still a good tune' (Bob). In addition, several judges took issue with the falsetto vocals.

Despite only making it through the preliminary round as the highest scoring runner-up, 'Edinburgh' also finds itself in the last 32. 'Not as polished as the version it eventually became under the Wedding Present aegis,' thought Derek, 'but still an enjoyable listen.'

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