Cinerama Cup: Preliminary Group 1
To streamline the process a little bit, we're going to spend the first couple of posts considering the 25 songs that are either covers, early versions of what became TWP recordings or tracks from the 2015 version of Valentina.
The panel were asked for 'Eurovision' style votes (i.e. 12, 10, 8, 7, 6....). The winner from each of these two groups, plus the highest-scoring runner-up, will join the other 61 songs in the first 'proper' stage.
Preliminary Group 1
- Mystery Date
- Groovejet (If This Ain't Love)
- The Girl From the DDR
- All The Things She Said
- End Credits
- Spangle
- Cita a Ciegues
- Stop Thief!
- Mars Sparkles Down On Me
- The Name of the Game
- Erinner Dich
- London
The Results
Not surprisingly, tracks from Valentina dominated the bottom half of the table. Whilst most of us admire Gedge's willingness to try something a bit different, it has to be said that the album is not exactly a fan favourite...
Inconsequential instrumental 'Cita a Ciegues' (described by Keg as 'John Shuttleworth meets Shakatak') was the clear winner of the wooden spoon in this group, getting 'nul points' from all but four of the panel. 'What was DLG thinking when he recorded this?' asked Marc, calling it 'self-indulgent nonsense.' Gav F agreed: 'Horrible cabaret w*nkery - expected some chicken in the basket to arrive at my table soon followed by a mildy “blue” comedian.' Harry noted that he was listening to the track for only the second time, 'and never the full way through. There's probably no reason to try for a third time between now and my death.'
I'd argue that the version of 'Stop Thief!' is one of the album's better offerings. Ian also rated it 'the least cheesy of the reworks.' Most were not so kind. Kirk thought it 'a great song massacred'; Bob dismissed it as 'the sh*ttest of a sh*t bunch.'
Jona and Derek both thought 'The Girl From The DDR' worthy of ten points, the latter describing it as 'Loungetastic! Picturing DLG in his crushed velvet jacket and Third Doctor ruffled pirate shirt (collar open).' A couple of others enjoyed the Hammond organ, but overall the panel was unimpressed. 'What on Earth possessed him?' wondered Gricey. Harry's was reminded of his 'early drinking days where Sunday night entertainment was some old guy on a Bontempi organ happy to destroy the songs of the day for £15 and as many cheese 'n' onion crisps as he could eat.' Kirk was more concise: 'I have no words. Yes I do - pish.'
The piano ballad version of 'Mystery Date' (with José Ramón Feito, who was behind the whole project, tinkling the ivories) was received a little more sympathetically, even if Ian thought that DLG 'struggled' with the vocal. A few even went as far as to describe the piano as 'lovely'; Kirk rated it as the best track on the album. 'A nagging voice in my head,' Keg confided, 'keeps whispering "Coldplay" to me and I struggle to ignore it.'
Nestled amongst the less well-regarded Valentina tracks in the bottom half of the table, 'The Name of the Game' was perhaps captured best by Ian: 'Someone's Dad doing Abba karaoke.'
The most divisive track was 'London', which gained a handful of 10/12 marks as well as several low scores. Some felt that Cinerama's slowed-down interpretation of the Smiths' track worked well. Johnny, for example, was enthusiastic about the 'absolute departure from the original which I wouldn’t believe would work, but it does.' Kirk, on the other hand, rued his favourite Smiths track being 'butchered.' Ian was also unconvinced:
'This cover adds absolutely nothing. If anything it misses the point by removing the helter-skelter pace of the original. The heady panic to get away from something, and the rush towards something that maybe better, and there's no turning back.'
There were also mixed opinions - although not quite as pronounced, as nobody gave it a zero - about 'All The Things She Said'. I agree with Kirk that David struggles a little with the melody of the verse; I would also concur with those judges who thought that Terry's backing vocals are a highlight. Evaluations seemed, to some extent, to depend on what the panel thought of the original. I'm with Bob, who described it as 'poptastic' - which is why the (admittedly somewhat pervy) video is below.
There were also mixed views about the two John Peel session tracks that were also recorded by TWP. Several judges felt that 'Spangle' differed little from its other incarnation. Johnny, however, had no time for it:
'A timid, plodding cover of what is essentially a beautiful original. He sound half arsed, like he doesn’t really care, as though he’s only partially interested whilst he’s thinking about what he is going to get from Tesco when he does the big shop later.'
As for 'Mars Sparkles Down On Me', Marc took a dim view: 'I’m not a fan of the original and this plods along in an even duller way... the original at least had some emotion which DLG has removed from this.' Gav M found it 'reassuringly familiar, although DLG’s voice quivers weakly.' Johnny thought it 'a sub-optimal take on a majestic original,' although he enjoyed the 'nice restrained drumming' and 'elegant, gently persuasive strings.'
On my Cinerama blog, I rated 'End Credits' as 'by far the best track on Valentina,' so I was pleased to see that - even though it will play no further part in this competition - it finished in a respectable enough fourth place here. Derek thought it 'an easy 12' and gave due regard to Terry's 'fantastic vocals.' A couple of the panel suggested a similarity to The Divine Comedy's 'Something For the Weekend'; Harry also made the interesting observation that it sounds like 'Dexys Midnights Runners doing a cover of I Melt With You.' Some were not so positive: Ian's assessment was 'the attempt at the wall of sound is more like a broken chain-linked fence.'
The cover of German band Klee's 2002 single 'Erinner Dich' (it means 'remember') made it to a respectable number 32 position on my blog, and it was positively received by most of the panel. Six of them awarded it the maximum 12 marks, and around half rewarded it with at least an eight. That said, Bob, Chris and Jona gave it a zero, and several others remarked that they preferred the original.
It was neck-and-neck with 'Mars' throughout the voting, but in the end just squeezed into second place. This means that it's in with a chance of making it to the next stage, depending on the runner-up's score in the other preliminary round.
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